pantiesofficial:

when kids knead two colors of clay together and screw everything up

image

29,090 notes

wehidebehindstars:

peachvenom:

periods help you learn how to get blood off of things which is probably why you hear more stories of men caught with murder

image

454,922 notes

lameborghini:

beyoncyay:

lameborghini:

does anyone else subconsciously give letters and numbers a gender like 4 is such a feminine number while 9 is definitely masculine am i right and then m is a girl of course while j is a boy you get me

you might have ordinal linguistic personification

mmm sounds like a fancy linguini pasta

94,956 notes

moonager:

One time I was on a rollercoaster and a guy’s hat fell off during one of the loops but he caught it when we were right side up again, and i have to go my whole life knowing I’ll never be as cool as that guy.

(Source: deersjaw)

396,887 notes

people on tumblr who call me by my name are my favorites

(Source: tomhiddlestons-archive)

205,487 notes

irresponsibleeyouth:

The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

(Source: crowzs)

367,617 notes

darrynek:

*tries to be funny and gets assassinated*

(Source: panerasexual)

225,059 notes

thatonepleb:

Me trying to finish something important on time:

image

334,915 notes

i dance in a world where love is as dangerous as tornadoes.
Sade Harrison (via wildsultrys0ul)

9 notes

macklemack:

50 shades of dark circles under my eyes

(Source: ratche-t)

1,716,447 notes